How to have a great conversation with just about anyone

Salespeople rely on conversation in many forms to advance their objectives: Build rapport with prospects, discover information and move the sales process forward. Although the gift of gab comes naturally to many who are drawn to sales, there are always areas for improvement.

Having a great conversation is really about listening. When you demonstrate that you are interested and engaged, rather than just waiting your turn to speak, the other person in the conversation opens up.

Here are 13 ideas for making your next conversation a great one:

1. The basics: Greet the person warmly, by name. Good eye contact is key. Smile. Even if you are on the phone, the person will “hear” the smile in your voice.
2. Get permission to talk. Ask if it is a good time to talk. This is especially important on the phone when you don’t have visual cues for what the person is doing. If not, find a mutually agreeable time, rather than forcing a conversation when the other person will be rushed and distracted.

   If you do find a good time to talk, be respectful of the person’s time, and be sure to thank them for it when you are concluding the conversation.

3. Repeat what you’ve heard.
   By paraphrasing what the other person has said, you prove you are really listening, interested and considering what they’ve said.

   Just the other day, I asked someone what he was looking for in his next career move. He shared several things that were important to him. When I recapped his career goals, boy, did he get excited. It was evident to him that I was listening and I “got” him.

4. Ask their opinion on a subject that they have some expertise in — and everyone does.
   Listen and consider their input carefully to show you really need and value their opinion. Try simple questions like: "Have you heard…?" Or, "What do you think about…?" or, "Can I ask your advice?"

5. Make an observation.
   This could be a compliment or simply stating something you’ve observed. Statements allow some white space in a conversation and give the other person in the conversation an opportunity to respond. Sometimes too many questions can lead to the other person feeling as though they are being interrogated.

6. Bring up something unexpected.
   Such topics can arise from your due diligence and research on a company, person or product. Google and LinkedIn are great ways to get a snapshot of someone’s backgrounds and interests, though delving into more personal social networks like Facebook is not advisable.

7. Repeat something they said the last time you spoke.
   This is another great way to show you are listening. Post-call analysis allows you to capture useful information for subsequent conversations. CRM tools are great ways to retain this information.

8. Share something unexpected and interesting about yourself.
   Toss it in, don’t drone about it. If this connects to something that you may have in common — people, places, experiences — all the better. Give them a chance to get to know you too.

9. Gentle joking or teasing. A good sense of humor is welcome in any conversation. Gossiping or mean-spirited humor are not. Learn a few clean jokes to keep in your back pocket for opportune moments. Make fun of yourself rather than others.
10. Be upfront and honest.
    Respectful disagreement may increase the other person’s trust in you. If they know you aren’t going to “yes” them, they will see you as authentic and forthright. This important to setting appropriate expectations. It is always advisable to “under-promise and over-deliver.”

11. Ask provocative, insightful questions that make the other person think.
    Thoughtful, open-ended questions fuel conversation. Many sales people have told me that creating a list of great questions is what super-charged their effectiveness.

12. Mirror the other person’s body language, volume and rate of speech. Perhaps you’ve heard that body language accounts for more than half of what is communicated in a conversation. It sends subtle cues to the other person that we are like them, which puts them at ease and leads to acceptance.
13. Close.
    What list about having great conversations in sales would be complete without this? Closing is what brings energy and spark to the end of a conversation, and sets the stage for the next great conversation.

Having a great, one-on-one conversation is more about being responsive to the other person, through listening and body language, than being witty and dynamic. By being attentive, you are communicating to the other person that they are important and you value their insights. In turn, a great conversation can set the stage for a great relationship.

This baker’s dozen is only a beginning list of ideas for great conversations. What else contributes to a great conversation?

“The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man’s observation, not overturning it.” — Edward Bulwer-Lytton

Lisa McCallister specializes in recruiting for medical device sales and marketing positions with an operating room focus, such as orthopedics, electrosurgery, endoscopy and a wide range of surgical specialties. She has recruited two Rookie of the Year award winners. Connect with her on LinkedIn or check out her blog, MyJobScope.com.